Saturday, May 12, 2012

Doors of Heaven

My darling,
Off course I still love you. You were a huge part of my life and a huge part of my past….I can't forget that.We have countless memories together….so many things that we have shared…your dreams and my interpretations…your hands in mine…walking miles together.

You were my first everything and I was yours. You still are my treasure…my world…my universe, how could I still not love and care for you? You did hurt me…more than words could ever explain and I know that no one can go back and change anything. But we both are responsible for the events that followed.I should have stopped you, told you that you aren’t right but….guess I was too drawn in your love. Now I sit here, complaining how bad you treated me and you sit there complaining how bad I treated you….*smiles* seems funny…even after all those years, we can’t seem to understand each other.We both fought, we both yelled, we both said things we didn't mean but at the end of the day, we both still loved each other and that's all that mattered. I love you and I always will. My feelings will ever be as strong for you as they once were but….if you beg me to come back, I wouldn’t have a choice but to turn you down.

I have learned from my mistakes and I see where I went wrong. I am terribly sorry…it’s too late to turn back the hands on the clock and change things, it's too late to do things differently. It’s over and done with….all part of my past now. But you are still here and you are still my everything. I am happy to say that I love you with all of my heart and I am lucky to have you in my life, even if things will never be the same again…I am proud of you.

I wish that it would rain all day…..maybe that would make my pain go away. I am trying to forgive you for abandoning me….praying with all my heart… but I think I am still an angle away.

Hugs and prayers

His grip on the letter went dark….a thousand glasses shattered…“It cant…??? ” Tears running down “Nooooooooooooo” he yelled out a heart-rendring cry. “Stop it!!! Stoppppp….waittttt.” He clung to the stretcher…”Stopppp"

“Your mother is no more sir…..we are extremely sorry….."

And the doors of Heaven were closed for him