Wednesday, December 19, 2012

In helpless state of affairs

One is helpless to make oneself understood

It's strange that sometimes you don’t know how to help someone. Particularly if that someone is the one you love and care about. That is when you want to provide them with the best and yet...you do the complete opposite.

"How could that be...its the person you care about...you can never do something that not goes in their favor."

True that!!! But I guess its probably that urge to make an extra effort...to give your all but during that sometimes things get a lil messy. I mean, you know the issue but finding the right means to solve it is kinda hard. I don’t know that those of you reading this understand it or not. Everything can't be explained through words...isn’t it?  

Up till now this post makes no sense but just wanted to let it out plus want to know if any of you reading have gone through this?

I really want to help but all I am creating is a mess. Maybe I am just over-exaggerating it or maybe I am in no control with my emotions but its just that I feel so sad afterwards...only if I could have acted in a better way or could have provided a solution...things would have been a little different. So much to say so much to tell but all that comes out is not what I want to say...why can’t we foresee future?? It would be nice to know all the stupid stuff that I am about to say or do beforehand and try to change it.

I realize what I said...how it could have affected the person...how it could have hurt them and worst is that I cant take it outta my mind. Just keeps playing like a film in my head...sucks big time. I have not acted the way I should have and you forgiving me again and again...it hurts even more. Why are you nice to me when sometimes I am not as nice as I should be? I am massively confused right now cuz if you decide to give me the taste of my own medicine then also I would be all sad and sulking...grrr.... what exactly do I want?? I hate this indecisive state of mind...gets me frustrated and angry...plus the examination season is going on and I really cant afford this much of a chaos in my life. 

"You would never read this post but still I apologize for not being me." 

Take this chaos away God and please turn the situations in our favor.