Wednesday, June 27, 2012

It takes a special person to be a Dad

Dad- a daughter's first love
Being daddy’s little girl is a joy in itself. The way your father treats you as his eye-candy, the girl he loves most in the world, buys everything for his baby girl without giving it a second thought…all this sounds so sweet and wonderful. 

It is said that the mother is usually the one responsible for the child’s upbringing as the father is busy earning for the welfare of his family but now we are living in a culture where dad is an equal partner in care giving. From day one, dads are encouraged to be changing diapers, giving baths, putting baby to sleep and calming her cries. That presence and effort is the beginning of a very important relationship. It shapes her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinions about men in general.

Now the reason of me writing this blog post is a sitcom which I saw couple of days back. Although it was designed to tickle our funny bone but yet, I felt quiet disturbed and hurt while watching it. It was about a father who used the mesmerizing looks of his daughter to scam huge amount of money from young men. What’s pathetic is that the men involved ranged from the wealthy businessmen to the cable wala. And in the end, he married his daughter off to a wealthy foreign-return and vanishes along with the scammed money.

A dad's involvement in his daughter's life is a crucial ingredient in the development of a young woman's self-esteem. Portrayal of such father’s on one of the most viewed Pakistani TV channel is a disgrace…plus the sitcom was supposedly funny !!!  What they on-aired was as cruel as a father slaughtering her daughter or burning her alive. A father’s dignity and vanity towards his daughter was horrendously butchered…I mean how could one even think about such an act???

For many people, maybe I am being a bit too sensitive about it or over-exaggerating it but I am just blabbering out the anger that boiled up while I watched that sitcom. People around me were laughing at the situations and cracking jokes…how could they be so numb??? How could we possibly ignore the encrypted message of discourtesy and disrespect targeted towards women???

What matters in the father-daughter relationship is that, dad seeks to live a life of integrity and honesty, avoiding hypocrisy and admitting his own shortcomings so that she has a realistic and positive example of how to deal with the world.  Has the channel or the actors working in it ever thought that what impacts would such sitcoms have on young girls minds??? They would probably think that mingling with boys to obtain a certain purpose is right because her daddy supports it too and encourages her to make an effort until the guy is head –over-heels, wearing heavy make-up and standing by the bus stand to woo guys is right and its not bad to scam money from someone…he will probably laugh it off.

It’s really not a good state of situations because how a father approaches life will serve as an example for his daughter to build off in her own life, even if she chooses a different view of the world. Such sitcoms and drama serials are getting common day by day. I don’t know where are our moral and ethical values are heading towards? 

For people who don’t know, there is a complaint form present at the PEMRA site where we can lodge complaint against such programs. 

So, if you feel that any program or advertisement is demoralizing our values then don’t just criticize it in your TV lounge; lodge a complaint against it like a responsible citizen. 

Imported from my 2nd Blog: Feminist Me

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Doctor or Engineer!!! Choose plz

Choose or Die

Let’s face it….the above shown is me/you/us/ZaidAliT and everything that is Brown…ah…having ears, eyes ,legs….and is alive.

Doctor or Engineer…this debate is still on….. Isn’t it?

I thought that with time, our parents must have also moved on and finally realized that there is a lot more present then the white coat and button down shirt. But I was very disappointed…we are still STUCK there.  Just like the dialogue in 3 Idiots,

"Larki hoi tu doctor aur larka hoa tu engineer"

I remember the time when I had to pick a field for my graduation and I got all sorts of irritating friendly advice:

Fat Aunty: Beta go for medical.

Me: But I don’t want to.

Fat Aunty: *Eyes popped out* how are you going to get a good rishta then??

Me: * Speechless*…ahhhh I will go get Rooh Afza for you.

C’mon on parents/family/relatives!!!  Can’t you see the dreams shinning in your child’s eyes…he/she doesn’t want to cut open people or build buildings. I mean it’s really strange that the world around us is moving ahead, people are exploring different fields, and picking the subjects they want to study. Sure if you are interested then go for medical or engineering but just don’t do it because the world is doing it. Basic trend today is


Even the ants are doing it!!! Almost all half of the people I know are either doing MBA, ACCA or CA because it’s the IN field, has money scope….a secure future.

Now, I am no bias against filling our country with only businessmen and bankers. After all, we could eat money if we are hungry…who needs chefs, we could paint our own pictures…who needs an artist, a banker could play drums better then Gumby. *Happy sigh* life would be so Moneyyy.

Wake up before we get flooded with business graduates!!! Do what you like to do and remember one thing, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SCOPE….(except the telescope and microscope)….but my point here is that follow your dreams and stop pondering on what everybody else is doing because they aint gonna be with you when you have no money and are going to die.... Ahm ahm...sorry that’s a bit toooo tragic…my bad. So point being that, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to change the world. What are you waiting for then??? Breakaway the chains and be yourself because everyone else is already taken.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

My newly born blog

I am a what???
A brand new blog by me

Feminist Me

For those of you who still don’t know me....who cares??? I understand that I am still not that popular. So here goes the intro...... *drums roll*

“Hey I am Kiran Ashraf, doing Mass Communication, Assistant Editor at Identity Magazine and loves blogging to the core.”

Hmmm so how did I landed on this decision to start another blog when I couldn’t concentrate on this one? The revelation came when I attended a session on blogging couple of days back organized by CIPE where Mr. Hammad Siddiqui and Mr. Ashraf Chaudhry enlightened us with their valuable knowledge on the art of blogging. Later in the session Ms. Neha Saeed, a certified Google Ad Word Professional also shared her expertise on how to make money through blogging. What a session it much to learn. After attending the session, we were suggested to determine the type and niche of our blog and then continue blogging accordingly. So therefore, I am starting a new blog on women issues...and I pinky promise to keep my blogs up-to-date and stalk the blogs I follow as well.
The title of the blog is a bit deceiving as many people might think of it as a blog where I would bash all the men, say how cruel they are or criticize their existence. If anyone reading this thought this way then I am sorry, this blog is not the right one for you. In my perspective, feminism is not just a word actually, it is a radical notion that women are human beings and a feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of men and women. Ironically in our society, men are afraid that women will laugh at them and women are afraid that men will kill them and that refrains women from achieving their goals. My aim through this blog is to promote the idea that emerging woman should be strong-minded, strong-hearted and strong-souled because strength and beauty must go together.  Please do leave your valuable comments and let me know your opinion regarding my blog post.
PS. Before you bash me for copying ALMOST the same blogpost on this blog as well…I should inform you that..YES I DID!!!! DO WHAT YOU CAN….buuuuhahahaha

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Missing you Daddy

Thanks for helping me find my balance

This Sunday marks yet another Father’s Day…the day which reminds us all that how lucky we are to have a father figure around us. We celebrate by giving them gifts, spending time with them, playing sports, enjoying movies together etc but my case is a bit different though. My father is in Merchant Navy and his job doesn’t allow him to be home all year. For many, it may seem normal or not a big deal because at the end of the day, he is doing that for our well-being and I do agree. But yet sometimes, especially when Father’s Day, birthdays, and other auspicious occasions are around the corner, I do feel a tad bit of emptiness somewhere inside me. This has made me realize the sorrow of children whose fathers are away from them…at the border protecting us, doing jobs in another city, too far away to reach home or not alive anymore.

I always think about my father’s plight…how would he be feeling right now? He has nobody of family around to talk to...what would he be thinking? And then his respect in my eyes just builds up more and more. It’s really not easy to leave your family and go on a job for months...without seeing them. Only their memories and photographs serve as a contact between you and them.

Talking about Pakistan, what I have observed is that Father’s Day is not much of an event here unlike Mother’s Day. Yes we do have ticker messages running on television screen all day and morning shows honoring fathers but it’s still not as huge as Mother’s day. Why is this discrimination? Isn’t father as much of an important person as a mother is? I remember an incident where I was discussing this issue with a friend and she said that because heaven lies below mother’s feet, she should be respected more but my argument is that isn’t father the door to heaven???

One of the questions asked in exams or even today in companies is that who is your role model? Now for many, the answer maybe people like Richard Branson, Steve Jobs etc but sometimes it’s a bit closer to home…its our father…the person who has inspired us to walk and maintain the balance so that we may not fall and face what’s coming up front.

For me personally there is a lot I want to thank my Dad for. A blog…a book…or anything is not enough to tell what he has done for me and for my siblings. I am eternally thankful to my Dad and try to let him know of my appreciation throughout the year. Because after all, parents don’t need a special day once a year to let them know just how much you care about them…just remembering to let them know from time to time is all that’s needed.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Lets focus on me today!!!

My birthdayyyyyyyy tara rum pum paa…. First on facebook so had to type loads of Thank youzz plus I did tweet tweet back my Thank youuuzzz as well. So now my hands are in unbearable pain and here I am writing a blog post…koi tu rok lo :P

*awkward silence*

*owls hoot*

*more hoot*

*even more hoot*

Okay okay…its enough to make me realize that maybe I shouldn’t have cracked that joke…such non-intelligent-zero-humorsense-peoplezzz

Coming back to My birthday…My day….so I hereby decide to interrupt this post with some appreciation of my own.

*Hush* serious talkies are about to begin

A lot has changed in the past year or so…for better and worse. Change has touched every aspect of my life, from family and friends to where I live and how I work.  It’s been a journey of loss, anger, sadness, fear and pain but it’s also been a path-way of new beginnings, happiness and love.  I have discovered that life isn’t fair…bad things happen to good people…sometimes a lot of bad things happen at once. There will be times when we feel like the whole world is against us and things can’t possibly get any worse…and then they will. But the thing is that there is always someone…somewhere who is worse off than we are. As hard as that may be to believe…putting things in perspective is incredibly powerful.

Its World Day against Child Labour as well….SSStop it you cruel-potheaded-creations…he/she is just a child!!!

End of serious talkies *Happy cheers*

Thank you for all the wishes and treat requests…they are under-consideration and I will get back to the concerned people a.s.a.p